The Voice

Good morning to you all.

It's Monday.

I usually discuss the writer's voice on Mondays, but I have a rendez vous this a.m. and I am going to do research for my next Montreal City Guide blog, so I will be brief.

Writing the short story that I ended up presenting to my short story class interestingly taught me about where I was when I wrote it. It was mid-December when I wrote it and I was not where I am now as far as honesty is concerned. What do I mean exactly? Well, I think I was still seeing people for the roles that they play, such as mother, dentist, boyfriend, husband, child...and so on. Rather than seeing people for what they really are. It's true that some people get so caught in their roles that that's about all you can see, but for most people there is more--that is if you have the insight and courage to look.

In December I don't think I was ready to look yet. People are not the sum total of their titles, accomplishments or behaviours. Nor are they really a label of any kind, thankfully. It is easier to 'label' people, it makes them tidy--at least in your mind. But no one is tidy or describable by a collection of words. An odd thing for a writer to say I realize, but I do believe that there is an essence to everyone that goes beyond thought.

I didn't take the time to get to know the characters in my short story. And for me that was the key to how I'd been living. Not with everyone, thankfully, but with enough people that I was pushing people I cared about away. About two weeks ago I suddenly realized what I'd been doing. After resolving a relationship I'd had I realized that it was time for me to stop self-protecting.

Life in not about being perpetually happy. Life does involve suffering--I am sure we all know that. Trying to avoid pain only puts more attention on the situations that cause you pain and thus a vicious circle begins.

I am not sure what I was trying to protect myself from. Maybe I just wasn't ready to know myself really, really well.

I no longer feel that way.

It was a breakthrough both personally and professionally. Rather than living with my eyes wide shut, I can just be. It really doesn't have to be more complicated than that!