School is soon upon us!

This time of year is about buckling down and getting back to it--whatever that it may be. I've enjoyed this summer, in fact I think it has been one of my best summers ever. That makes me feel very, very optimistic about the fall!

My birthday is around the corner too and I am walking that slippery slope to my 40s. I know a lot of people find 40 a daunting number for a multitude of reasons but I am not worried about turning 40 in the least. I have three years to go until then but nonetheless my life is so much better now than when I was turning 30 that I can only watch the coming years with awe.

I think as we approach 40 we stop taking crap from people--or at least we should. We spent our childhoods being inundated with negative energy and now, as full-fledged adults, 'we're not gonna take it' (thank you Twisted Sister!).

There's something exciting and so possible about the fall. Even though the trees will soon go to sleep for another long winter our brains will be spinning with new projects, ideas and, well, fun.

There's no other word for it really. Life has become fun. Everything about it is full of wonder and magic and possibility. That's where not taking any crap comes in. If you make sure your life isn't filled with negative people and details and drama then you've got the time to have that extra cup of tea, take the dog for a leisurely walk in the woods and listen to your love late into the night.

That's really what life is all about. It's not about work and obligations and serious faces. Life is about child-like innocence, love, affection, children, family and peace--well at least mine finally is anyway!

The reality of energy

Nobody told me. I could have used a heads up or something.

As my energy shot off the scale last night my brain shut down.

I have become a conduit for the universe and the universe has a lot to tell me. Luckily I was in a soft and cozy place to crash because crash I did.

I think the universe wants me to write and work and work a lot more.

I've had a block or lack of belief in my abilities or I was hesitating or I was afraid or all of the above. Hard to describe it really but it happened and now it is over.

I have this very focused feeling inside me and once this pre-school week is over I will dig into my fall work schedule.

Write it down and make it happen.

The Saturday Unexpected

I had an incredible week and left my writing until after my seminar yesterday.

So many new and different things have happened to me in the last few months that looking back I'm a bit awe struck by it all--in a wonderful way.

My path has been becoming more and more defined as these months have gone by and I feel that I am on the cusp of something wonderful and ground breaking.

The hammock is up in my backyard (finally) thanks to my boyfriend that knew I'd take forever to get around to it. Bless him for helping to make our relaxation a reality under the tall, beautiful trees in my backyard.

My energy level has increased considerably and I am drawing people to me that I want to be near. I am also drawing projects to me that I want to work on, which is equally wonderful in a dynamic and creative way.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend full of joy and love.

Remember that children, marriages and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The Journey

Yes, today is journey day!

Anger, frustration--manifestations of my ego. I suppose I could say it's the Welsh fire coursing through my veins. Ancestry certainly mustn't be denied, but the German stoicism inside me says 'Rein it in, Jackie, rein in that passion!'

How ugly an idea it is to 'control' my emotions so completely.

For most of my life I have been on a journey to discover why. Why am I getting angry and frustrated? Where is that fire coming from? And is all that fire a loss of control, as my German side so often tells me. No highs or lows, just an even keel. I find that idea so unattractive you cannot imagine!

I realize fire is a part of me.

So after I figured out the whys then I realized that not all anger and frustration are misplaced or negative. Some of it originated in growth, expansion and, well, coming into my own.

Suddenly a light bulb went on in my head--coming into my own. What would happen if my Welsh fire was also coupled with awareness? And then what would happen if my Germanic stoicism was coupled with steely resolve? Aha, suddenly a formula I can live with inside myself. The right formula for me and no one else.

People around me are suddenly dealing with a whole, integrated and centred person. I am no longer silent, reclusive or malleable. Some people don't like it. I am sure they think to themselves, 'what's up with her, she's so different, so defiant, so hard to be around now.'

That's one way of looking at it, but the real truth is I am no longer what they expect me to be. Whatever they were projecting onto me is now broken, the pattern has ended and I am now what I expect me to be--they aren't too comfortable with that.

Luckily I have realized that my life is not about anyone else. That doesn't mean I have become callous or self-absorbed actually quite the opposite, no I have become true to myself and you'd be surprised how many people aren't too comfortable with that. Well, maybe you wouldn't be surprised, but I guess at first I was.

My journey has brought me here to this place where I listen to myself first, ask myself how I feel before discussing my feelings with anyone else and trusting that I really do know what's best for me because I am the one living in my own skin--and no one else.

Before I was afraid that if I was true to myself first certain people wouldn't love me anymore.

When I decided to be true to myself despite this possibility I miraculously realized that their 'conditional love' wasn't important anyway.

Those 'conditional' people are less present in my life now, but I have found new people that want to know me for myself and don't even know what conditional means.

Ahhh, freedom to be myself with the people I truly love.

Freedom to be myself with myself.

Freedom.

Open Forum

Good morning one and all!

I am going to change the way I write my blog. I won't be writing every day and I will likely vary the title depending on my mood and what I want to write about.

I think writing anything, even a blog, is a process and I like things to grow and evolve.

Change has never been a problem for me and the creative process is all about change.

Have a wonderful weekend and remember: Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. Raymond Lindquist

The Voice

Good afternoon to you all.

I am continuing to read The Boss of You and have realized, working through their exercises, that technical writing is not for me.

I worked in the high tech world for several months and, while I was there enjoyed it, but it is not me.

Lauren Bacon and Emira Mears had some interesting questions that allowed me to see very clearly that writing and editing technical stuff leaves me cold, quite literally. For example, when they asked What colours, tastes and smells come to mind when you think of your business? I answered slate gray, gray-blue, icy coolness. I smell the snow on a clear, cold day. Hmmm...my children's fiction work and magazine article writing got moss green, Chinese red and the smell of the forest and sunlight.

I think it's pretty clear that I should let my technical writing go. The experience I gained working in the high tech field was invaluable, but it is just too sterile for who I am.

I had been hesitating looking for technical jobs and now I understand why.

It's good to know. No more high tech voice for me!

See you tomorrow all.

Open Forum

Good afternoon everyone!

I want to wish you all a wonderful weekend and I will see you all back here on Monday.

And as Thomas Fuller says: He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.

Amen!

The Journey

Good morning one and all.

The journey has led me to a book titled The Boss of You by Lauren Bacon & Emira Mears.

It's a book about women entrepreneurs and since I am one I thought I'd pick it up. I have been a freelance writer and editor for over seven years now and I know how to self-promote, but I thought I might learn some tricks from these ladies.

It's not a book about writing specifically, it's about the global issues of running a successful business. I'd like to create a plan for myself. A plan that I can stick to and really carry out.

Writing isn't something that I can do all the time. I find when I have specific projects to work on I can focus, but when I am generating my own ideas the timing has to be right. Some days I just can't write a query or even do much research on upcoming ideas--I just seem to get blocked.

I don't believe I am unique in this, that's why writers talk about (and ironically write about) writer's block.

I have been wading in that miasmic pool recently so I have decided that if I can't write I can reorganize my business plans instead.

So that's where you'll find me today--reading, reading and reading some more.

That will lead to brainstorming, planning and then doing.

That will feel good!

The Mechanics

I wasn't going to write my blog today. I feel like I'm in a rut.

The weather doesn't help either, even my dog overslept because it's so dismal outside.

I have all sorts of ideas but I don't feel like writing anything for public consumption.

I don't know if it's writer's block or just a dip in my creative cycle.

How can I have ideas bouncing around in my head but not want to write any of them down!?

I just feel like being social and getting out. I don't feel like being solitary and pouring over my keyboard alone in my office.

Maybe that's it too. The summer makes you want to get out and live. Writing works better in the cooler months when you want to stay in anyway because it's chilly outside.

Anyway, for whatever reason here I am planning my day around the appointment I have, the errands I want to do and the things I want to accomplish--none of which have anything to do with writing.

Big sigh. Such is life.

The Writer's Weekly

I'm just not in the mood to blog today so I will see you all tomorrow.

Have a good one!

The Voice

Good morning one and all!

It's voice day and my voice today is on horrendous news.

We've all heard about the mysterious and grizzly beheading of a man on a Greyhound bus, it's unfathomable and random and downright scary. How do people deal with the aftereffects of trauma once they've witnessed such surreal events?

I read an eye-opening article in the Globe today about Ute Lawrence who was involved in the 87-vehicle pile up in Windsor, Ontario: The worst accident in Canadian history. A fourteen-year-old girl was pinned between Ute's car and another and ended up burning to death before Ute's eyes.

Ute has never been the same person again. I don't doubt it.

Reading about these horrific events in the news is a 'here today, gone tomorrow' kind of experience. You aren't really touched by it as a reader unless you knew someone involved in the tragedy you are reading about. What the newspapers don't cover is what happens after...

Ute Lawrence and her husband have founded the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Association to address the lack of support groups for civilians who witness horrific events.

I was talking with my boyfriend last night and we were commenting on all the little kindnesses that happen every day that are very rarely a topic of media attention. Those small kindnesses however add up to something big over time and that's something very important in our world.

We are faced with horrific world events everyday in the newspapers and on the news, but what will counteract these traumatic events that we so casually talk about over dinner?

All the small kindnesses add up to being the key to why humans continue to hope and dream and love. Trauma fades with time, even though when you are going through it it definitely doesn't feel that way, but the kindnesses stay with you.

Being generous of spirit is a way of being.

We cannot know when accidents or public attacks are going to happen, but we can choose to make our everyday lives better through generosity and presence.

When you see someone you think may need help ask them if they are OK. When someone doesn't have any change for the parking meter give them some. Give up your seat for an older person on the bus. Help someone if they lose their footing. And so on and so on.

It may seem easier to just walk right by, to turn away and think only of yourself, but we have all been on the receiving end of kindnesses and giving is part of being a human being.

A thoughtful gesture may change the outcome of someone's day for the better.

Really, you just never know.

Open Forum

Good morning to you all and Happy Friday!

It's that wonderful day of the week when we feel as if possibilities abound.

I have started a wonderful ritual of meeting my dear-heart in Old Montreal for lunch on Saturdays and that is the inspiring possibility I'm thinking about today.

I'm also thinking about buying a new car. It's actually inevitable and there's always so much freedom and possibility in having your own wheels.

When I was a girl it was my bike. I'd hop on my blue-metallic banana seat and watch the streamers from my handlebars float in the wind as I streaked recklessly with absolute abandon down those Toronto streets.

I am nowhere near as reckless in my car but I still enjoy the power I have over those pedals.

I wish you all a loving, cozy and inspiring weekend and leave you with this final thought by Alexander Woolcott: There's no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.