In Print

My new blog

2008-11-17T11:32:00.007-05:00

I just want to let you all know that I have started a new blog called 'The way is love.'

I hope you will all check it out and feel free to sign up under 'Follow this blog.'

Cheers and have a great day!

In praise of laptops everywhere

2008-11-06T15:47:00.002-05:00

I am not with-it technologically speaking.

Yes, I did work for a tech firm as a writer and editor. Yes, I did really write stuff about software solutions. And yes, I did learn the techie jargon.

But despite all that I only bought my first laptop last Thursday and I just got it up and running completely yesterday. I know, I know...I'm just a bit behind the times, however, I'm rapidly catching up.

Now I want a good reason to pack up my laptop and carry it around with me.

I work from home so I'll have to be creative, but I'm in a line of work that makes me uniquely qualified to be creative so that's half the battle, right?

Cool. I feel so mobile.

I can twirl around on top of an expansively green field (just like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music) while singing 'my laptop is alive with the sound of,' well, you get the idea.

2008-10-30T15:32:00.000-04:00

I think my last post sounded preachy--sorry about that!

2008-10-27T11:20:00.003-04:00

Patterns certainly seem to be ever-present in my life (and that of others).

Maybe you don't believe me.

Maybe you think it doesn't happen to you. To you coincidences are just chance, perhaps.

I say to that, "Balderdash!"

"No way, Jose!"

"Impossible!"

These 'coincidences' are the universe's way of trying to help you, to teach you and guide you on breaking those old nasty patterns and inturn learning more about who you truly are.

And by old nasties I mean all those psychological and physical things your parents (and others) have done to you (and may still be doing to you).

It is fascinating how the universe sees what you need to learn and places it right under your nose. Sometimes quite literally.

I have acknowledged my 'coincidences' as learning experiences and have learned and continue to learn many things from them.

I am now also in the process of teaching someone else how to learn from their coincidences.

There is no more noble job than helping another soul feel more comfortable and safe in their own skin.

That's really what all those recurring patterns are trying to teach you.

The ultimate goal in this world is to unlearn all the damaging, negative and controlling things your parents (and others) taught you.

Your parents (and others) may have meant well or they may have not. They may have been doing their best or they may have been using you. No matter what their reasons they do not define who you are.

Only you can know who you truly are!

I encourage you to notice coincidences, learn from them and embrace them as tools that bring you closer to yourself.

Good luck and keep passing the open windows.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

2008-10-12T18:47:00.003-04:00

Since I didn't make a turkey this year because hockey pools just seemed to keep getting in the way (French Canadians are crazy for hockey), I have decided to post one instead.

I hope you all enjoy it in a virtual sort of way!

A bientot.

New job on the horizon

2008-10-11T19:30:00.002-04:00

Yep, it's true. A new job is about to land in my lap. Oh, how sweet that is!

I'm gonna keep flogging myself with Canadian publishers and beyond, but this work is for one right here in beautiful Montreal, so it's all good.

How to make that target every month? That target income I mean.

Well, you know, I decided to stop wondering how and just, well, do it.

I can't believe it's really any more complicated than that. No, I really don't believe it is.

I'm thinking of letting go of my idea of writing for magazines however. After I realized More has sold out and gone cheerleader on us all, well, I can't find any intelligent women's magazines that I like.

I find it a bit depressing actually that all women want to read is how-to articles, testimonials of other 'cougars' like them and health issues that make you wanna cry.

Maybe I'll get over it, but then again maybe I won't.

It could be a sign sayin' "It ain't for you, kid."

Yep, that really could be it.

Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving weekend all! Until next time.

Jobs, jobs, jobs...

2008-10-02T15:31:00.003-04:00

It's about time I wrote for you all again!

What have I been up to? Well, I've been writing queries, contacting Canadian publishers, writing pieces for various papers trying to get published and searching for media jobs. Sound familiar? Is this what your life is like too? Endless self-promotion and job searching with paying jobs mixed in for reinforcement? Good, I'm not alone then.

Of course that's not how I spend my off time. Then I write in my journal. Wow, does it ever stop? Yes, when I watch movies, go out for dinner and drinks, spend time with my son, spend time with my boyfriend and clean, do laundry and veg.

Fall is rapidly approaching and it's pretty darn nippy today. I'm going to walk my doggie tonight and he will love it--he's a cool weather pooch!

It's so much easier to hunker down and work when it's cool and damp outside. I could barely wrap my head around work this summer (and falling in love with my boyfriend had absolutely nothing to do with my lack of focus, honest).

Now, the focus has come back because the kids are back in school and all is routine once more (and the love is solid and deep so focusing is easier).

I will keep you updated on my job-search progress. It's exciting and you never know where the next job will pop up from. That's the fun of it for me.

Have a great one all! Write you soon.

It's today and not yesterday

2008-09-22T16:01:00.004-04:00

Being here is, well, really healing.

I have been working hard for years to find my way here and somehow I always thought (or maybe was conditioned to believe) that my journey would be alone.

People in my life, in my past, tried to isolate me from myself, but they did not succeed, thankfully.

I have come to realize quite profoundly that I don't want to be alone at all. In fact, it really isn't my natural state or good for me.

Some people believe that wanting to be with people and needing people is a weakness. And how many times have we heard that we can only really rely on ourselves?

I think this is false, however.

Everywhere you look people rely on other people for countless things. So many things that even a partial list is pretty awesome.

Our society is trying to convince us that people only have value if they are beautiful, skinny, popular, rich and successful--whatever all that means. All of those 'qualities' are subjective and extremely superficial.

Why I ever believed that I had more 'value' because I chose to be alone I will never know.

I definitely don't feel that way anymore.

I think this socially imposed isolation increases the severity of many mental illnesses in our culture and spirals many people into believing they are not worthy of love or understanding or even friendship.

I found out about two months ago that an old boyfriend of mine, the man that I consider my first real love, killed himself a few years ago.

I was extremely upset that he no longer exists here anymore. I think being pushed away, shunned and abused as a child caused him to perpetually feel isolated from everyone and most especially himself.

It is a tragedy because there aren't many souls like his on this earth--as I've come to realize in time.

I refuse to buy into the idea that I have to make it alone to be worthy. I wish Jon had realized that too and simply held on to someone until he felt solid again. It is today that I wish him a wonderful journey wherever he may be and I acknowledge the fact that he has taught me that being alone for the look of it is pointless and damaging and really not where I'm meant to be.

Peace and love, Jon. Peace and love.

Birthdays...

2008-09-11T10:42:00.003-04:00

So they say it's your birthday, well it's my birthday too...

Seriously, it really is, I swear, no joke.

It's the day that we ponder all that has come before and what is about to begin.

The next big year in our lives...hmmm...my shoulders feel heavier just thinking about it.

No, but seriously, I think we always have a tendency to wonder how that next year will unfold. "How is being 37 going to look, feel and taste," you know that sort of thing.

I'm really not worried. I know it sounds cliche and our grandparents have said it a zillion times before but with age we do gain a certain wisdom. Experience breeds a certain thoughtfulness, a certain realization that patterns unfold and that some are good and others are better left by the curb.

I am aware of my curbed debris and leave it there to dry out and certainly never multiply. The good patterns I have been embracing and they definitely hug back.

So, since it's my birthday I want to share with you an artist that I have found in one of those wonderful artist-to-artist ways, his name is 'That 1 Guy' and his song 'One' is a favourite of mine.

He represents all that I love about being an artist: Creating something out of nothing, reaching deep into your soul for inspiration, creating it because it has to be born no matter what and thrilling people with the amazing, unorthodox, wonderful, bizarre result.

I wish you all a wonderful day. My birthday spirit goes out to you all!

Getting up is really hard!

2008-09-03T08:38:00.003-04:00

When the alarm clock went off I still felt the miasma of being woken up a few times by my cat, wondering where my dog was and why he didn't sleep next to me last night and the fact that I had to get up and make a lunch.

I am not a morning person.

I don't like being woken up before I'm ready by Aaron and Tasso saying inane things about school beginning. Enough already! Why add insult to injury--oh, yah, some people get off on doing that! Yuck!!!

So now that I'm on my second tea, my first allergy pill and am trying to psych myself up to take out my dog I'd like to say I feel more awake, but that would be a lie.

I have all sorts of great ideas about how I'd like to spend my day being super productive and creative, but I have to ooze myself back into the 'routine'--that mind-numbing, stressful, seemingly never-ending life filled with details. OK, OK, so it's maybe not that bad really, but it feels like it right now.

I'm a 'half-glass-full' kinda person so I know this complaining will all blow over pretty quick but it is on mornings like these that I remind myself how much I love the meandering, sleep in, lazy borderline boring days of summer.

Summer, I love you and I wish you were still here.

School is soon upon us!

2008-08-31T11:59:00.004-04:00

This time of year is about buckling down and getting back to it--whatever that it may be. I've enjoyed this summer, in fact I think it has been one of my best summers ever. That makes me feel very, very optimistic about the fall!

My birthday is around the corner too and I am walking that slippery slope to my 40s. I know a lot of people find 40 a daunting number for a multitude of reasons but I am not worried about turning 40 in the least. I have three years to go until then but nonetheless my life is so much better now than when I was turning 30 that I can only watch the coming years with awe.

I think as we approach 40 we stop taking crap from people--or at least we should. We spent our childhoods being inundated with negative energy and now, as full-fledged adults, 'we're not gonna take it' (thank you Twisted Sister!).

There's something exciting and so possible about the fall. Even though the trees will soon go to sleep for another long winter our brains will be spinning with new projects, ideas and, well, fun.

There's no other word for it really. Life has become fun. Everything about it is full of wonder and magic and possibility. That's where not taking any crap comes in. If you make sure your life isn't filled with negative people and details and drama then you've got the time to have that extra cup of tea, take the dog for a leisurely walk in the woods and listen to your love late into the night.

That's really what life is all about. It's not about work and obligations and serious faces. Life is about child-like innocence, love, affection, children, family and peace--well at least mine finally is anyway!

The reality of energy

2008-08-26T11:12:00.003-04:00

Nobody told me. I could have used a heads up or something.

As my energy shot off the scale last night my brain shut down.

I have become a conduit for the universe and the universe has a lot to tell me. Luckily I was in a soft and cozy place to crash because crash I did.

I think the universe wants me to write and work and work a lot more.

I've had a block or lack of belief in my abilities or I was hesitating or I was afraid or all of the above. Hard to describe it really but it happened and now it is over.

I have this very focused feeling inside me and once this pre-school week is over I will dig into my fall work schedule.

Write it down and make it happen.

The Saturday Unexpected

2008-08-23T09:40:00.002-04:00

I had an incredible week and left my writing until after my seminar yesterday.

So many new and different things have happened to me in the last few months that looking back I'm a bit awe struck by it all--in a wonderful way.

My path has been becoming more and more defined as these months have gone by and I feel that I am on the cusp of something wonderful and ground breaking.

The hammock is up in my backyard (finally) thanks to my boyfriend that knew I'd take forever to get around to it. Bless him for helping to make our relaxation a reality under the tall, beautiful trees in my backyard.

My energy level has increased considerably and I am drawing people to me that I want to be near. I am also drawing projects to me that I want to work on, which is equally wonderful in a dynamic and creative way.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend full of joy and love.

Remember that children, marriages and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The Journey

2008-08-18T11:15:00.002-04:00

Yes, today is journey day!

Anger, frustration--manifestations of my ego. I suppose I could say it's the Welsh fire coursing through my veins. Ancestry certainly mustn't be denied, but the German stoicism inside me says 'Rein it in, Jackie, rein in that passion!'

How ugly an idea it is to 'control' my emotions so completely.

For most of my life I have been on a journey to discover why. Why am I getting angry and frustrated? Where is that fire coming from? And is all that fire a loss of control, as my German side so often tells me. No highs or lows, just an even keel. I find that idea so unattractive you cannot imagine!

I realize fire is a part of me.

So after I figured out the whys then I realized that not all anger and frustration are misplaced or negative. Some of it originated in growth, expansion and, well, coming into my own.

Suddenly a light bulb went on in my head--coming into my own. What would happen if my Welsh fire was also coupled with awareness? And then what would happen if my Germanic stoicism was coupled with steely resolve? Aha, suddenly a formula I can live with inside myself. The right formula for me and no one else.

People around me are suddenly dealing with a whole, integrated and centred person. I am no longer silent, reclusive or malleable. Some people don't like it. I am sure they think to themselves, 'what's up with her, she's so different, so defiant, so hard to be around now.'

That's one way of looking at it, but the real truth is I am no longer what they expect me to be. Whatever they were projecting onto me is now broken, the pattern has ended and I am now what I expect me to be--they aren't too comfortable with that.

Luckily I have realized that my life is not about anyone else. That doesn't mean I have become callous or self-absorbed actually quite the opposite, no I have become true to myself and you'd be surprised how many people aren't too comfortable with that. Well, maybe you wouldn't be surprised, but I guess at first I was.

My journey has brought me here to this place where I listen to myself first, ask myself how I feel before discussing my feelings with anyone else and trusting that I really do know what's best for me because I am the one living in my own skin--and no one else.

Before I was afraid that if I was true to myself first certain people wouldn't love me anymore.

When I decided to be true to myself despite this possibility I miraculously realized that their 'conditional love' wasn't important anyway.

Those 'conditional' people are less present in my life now, but I have found new people that want to know me for myself and don't even know what conditional means.

Ahhh, freedom to be myself with the people I truly love.

Freedom to be myself with myself.

Freedom.

Open Forum

2008-08-15T09:22:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all!

I am going to change the way I write my blog. I won't be writing every day and I will likely vary the title depending on my mood and what I want to write about.

I think writing anything, even a blog, is a process and I like things to grow and evolve.

Change has never been a problem for me and the creative process is all about change.

Have a wonderful weekend and remember: Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. Raymond Lindquist

The Voice

2008-08-11T14:06:00.002-04:00

Good afternoon to you all.

I am continuing to read The Boss of You and have realized, working through their exercises, that technical writing is not for me.

I worked in the high tech world for several months and, while I was there enjoyed it, but it is not me.

Lauren Bacon and Emira Mears had some interesting questions that allowed me to see very clearly that writing and editing technical stuff leaves me cold, quite literally. For example, when they asked What colours, tastes and smells come to mind when you think of your business? I answered slate gray, gray-blue, icy coolness. I smell the snow on a clear, cold day. Hmmm...my children's fiction work and magazine article writing got moss green, Chinese red and the smell of the forest and sunlight.

I think it's pretty clear that I should let my technical writing go. The experience I gained working in the high tech field was invaluable, but it is just too sterile for who I am.

I had been hesitating looking for technical jobs and now I understand why.

It's good to know. No more high tech voice for me!

See you tomorrow all.

Open Forum

2008-08-08T14:15:00.003-04:00

Good afternoon everyone!

I want to wish you all a wonderful weekend and I will see you all back here on Monday.

And as Thomas Fuller says: He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.

Amen!

The Journey

2008-08-07T10:09:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all.

The journey has led me to a book titled The Boss of You by Lauren Bacon & Emira Mears.

It's a book about women entrepreneurs and since I am one I thought I'd pick it up. I have been a freelance writer and editor for over seven years now and I know how to self-promote, but I thought I might learn some tricks from these ladies.

It's not a book about writing specifically, it's about the global issues of running a successful business. I'd like to create a plan for myself. A plan that I can stick to and really carry out.

Writing isn't something that I can do all the time. I find when I have specific projects to work on I can focus, but when I am generating my own ideas the timing has to be right. Some days I just can't write a query or even do much research on upcoming ideas--I just seem to get blocked.

I don't believe I am unique in this, that's why writers talk about (and ironically write about) writer's block.

I have been wading in that miasmic pool recently so I have decided that if I can't write I can reorganize my business plans instead.

So that's where you'll find me today--reading, reading and reading some more.

That will lead to brainstorming, planning and then doing.

That will feel good!

The Mechanics

2008-08-06T09:17:00.002-04:00

I wasn't going to write my blog today. I feel like I'm in a rut.

The weather doesn't help either, even my dog overslept because it's so dismal outside.

I have all sorts of ideas but I don't feel like writing anything for public consumption.

I don't know if it's writer's block or just a dip in my creative cycle.

How can I have ideas bouncing around in my head but not want to write any of them down!?

I just feel like being social and getting out. I don't feel like being solitary and pouring over my keyboard alone in my office.

Maybe that's it too. The summer makes you want to get out and live. Writing works better in the cooler months when you want to stay in anyway because it's chilly outside.

Anyway, for whatever reason here I am planning my day around the appointment I have, the errands I want to do and the things I want to accomplish--none of which have anything to do with writing.

Big sigh. Such is life.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-08-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

I'm just not in the mood to blog today so I will see you all tomorrow.

Have a good one!

The Voice

2008-08-04T08:33:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all!

It's voice day and my voice today is on horrendous news.

We've all heard about the mysterious and grizzly beheading of a man on a Greyhound bus, it's unfathomable and random and downright scary. How do people deal with the aftereffects of trauma once they've witnessed such surreal events?

I read an eye-opening article in the Globe today about Ute Lawrence who was involved in the 87-vehicle pile up in Windsor, Ontario: The worst accident in Canadian history. A fourteen-year-old girl was pinned between Ute's car and another and ended up burning to death before Ute's eyes.

Ute has never been the same person again. I don't doubt it.

Reading about these horrific events in the news is a 'here today, gone tomorrow' kind of experience. You aren't really touched by it as a reader unless you knew someone involved in the tragedy you are reading about. What the newspapers don't cover is what happens after...

Ute Lawrence and her husband have founded the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Association to address the lack of support groups for civilians who witness horrific events.

I was talking with my boyfriend last night and we were commenting on all the little kindnesses that happen every day that are very rarely a topic of media attention. Those small kindnesses however add up to something big over time and that's something very important in our world.

We are faced with horrific world events everyday in the newspapers and on the news, but what will counteract these traumatic events that we so casually talk about over dinner?

All the small kindnesses add up to being the key to why humans continue to hope and dream and love. Trauma fades with time, even though when you are going through it it definitely doesn't feel that way, but the kindnesses stay with you.

Being generous of spirit is a way of being.

We cannot know when accidents or public attacks are going to happen, but we can choose to make our everyday lives better through generosity and presence.

When you see someone you think may need help ask them if they are OK. When someone doesn't have any change for the parking meter give them some. Give up your seat for an older person on the bus. Help someone if they lose their footing. And so on and so on.

It may seem easier to just walk right by, to turn away and think only of yourself, but we have all been on the receiving end of kindnesses and giving is part of being a human being.

A thoughtful gesture may change the outcome of someone's day for the better.

Really, you just never know.

Open Forum

2008-08-01T08:53:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all and Happy Friday!

It's that wonderful day of the week when we feel as if possibilities abound.

I have started a wonderful ritual of meeting my dear-heart in Old Montreal for lunch on Saturdays and that is the inspiring possibility I'm thinking about today.

I'm also thinking about buying a new car. It's actually inevitable and there's always so much freedom and possibility in having your own wheels.

When I was a girl it was my bike. I'd hop on my blue-metallic banana seat and watch the streamers from my handlebars float in the wind as I streaked recklessly with absolute abandon down those Toronto streets.

I am nowhere near as reckless in my car but I still enjoy the power I have over those pedals.

I wish you all a loving, cozy and inspiring weekend and leave you with this final thought by Alexander Woolcott: There's no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

The Journey

2008-07-31T09:43:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all.

Once again this is the perfect day for journey day.

I am trying to put into words the way my life has changed over the last couple of weeks.

Sometimes even I have to admit that words are not quite adequate. OK, let me see if I can express how I feel.

I suddenly have all the courage I had as a fresh-faced adolescent. It's as if my life has come full circle back to the days when fear, hesitation, and the possibility of failure simply did not exist in my mind.

I have come back with the benefit of the experiences I have lived along the way. And I use the word lived because I absolutely believe that you must experience the moments you are in to move through them.

I admit that I have not always been able to move through all the moments and have gotten 'stuck' re-experiencing moments that could have been long processed, but, hey, life is all about learning.

I have trained myself to face each moment with an openness that I had as an adolescent when I felt no fear. Now, of course, I do feel fear and the pain that I have had to experience and release has taught me that life doesn't always give you what you hope for. But, I have also learned that life does give you exactly what you need at the time even when that's painful in some way.

It is the painful moments that people get stuck on, or stuck in and some people simply recreate those moments over and over with different people throughout their lives. That happens when we don't allow ourselves to experience the pain in the moment.

I gave up my fear and its limiting factors almost two months ago and the universe gave me exactly what I wanted and needed almost instantly.

Fear creates distance and courage creates love. Of that I have no doubt.

And as I listen to the song 'Union' by the Black Eyed Peas, Sting's voice rings true: I'd change the world if I could change my mind, if I could live beyond my fears, exchanging unity for all my insecurities, exchanging laughter for my tears.

That's it exactly!

And we can all do it and my life has been transformed completely as a result of my courage.

I don't believe anyone wants to be unhappy, but I do believe a lot of people are afraid to really face themselves, and so the barriers go up.

If you are not able to face yourself, how will you ever be in the moment with any person or situation in your life? Quite simply, you won't be.

The Mechanics

2008-07-30T08:21:00.002-04:00

Good morning everyone!

I have a meeting this morning so I can't be mechanical today.

Have a productive day!

The Writer's Weekly

2008-07-29T10:10:00.003-04:00

Good morning to you all!

Today I want to talk about some writers I know through cyberspace that have won awards or been published recently.

The first writer is Andrew Tibbetts. He won the Malahat Review 2008 Novella Prize and was commenting on the Canadian Writers' Collective blog last Friday that not many of his friends read his work. I thought this was a perfect opportunity for me to mention his prize and to guide people to his blog and the other Canadian writers I've met through their collective. Read, read, read everyone and let them know you've experienced their work.

Bravo, Andrew! What an amazing accomplishment.

The next writer is Amy Shearn. She has recently published her first novel and I just received it from Chapters yesterday. I can't wait to dig into it and her blog Moonlight Ambulette is always fun and inspiring.

Congratulations, Amy! Your book is sitting on my reading table and it's at the top of my fiction reading list.

I think I will keep my Tuesdays for talking about writers who have recently been recognized and also to discuss their work--which I will read!

Remember everyone what goes around comes around and if you want people to celebrate your work you've gotta go that extra mile to celebrate other people's work too!

In other words check your egos at the door and read people, and enjoy!

The Voice

2008-07-28T15:20:00.002-04:00

Good afternoon one and all!

I am back from vacation and I had a wonderful week. The cottage I rented was beautiful and the view across the lake breathtaking.

I feel restored!

My voice will be changing in the near future and will move back to children's fiction--which I love. I will be editing a series of books for a publisher friend of mine.

I have worked quite extensively in children's fiction and I always enjoy the knowledge that young minds are going to become enthralled in the stories I'm editing. I feel as if I reach through generations working on children's literature.

I will see you again tomorrow and I wish you all a wonderful summer evening of fun and frivolity.

A demain!

Open Forum

2008-07-18T12:06:00.002-04:00

Good afternoon to you all!

Life has gotten in the way of this day and I am behind in my schedule.

Nothing too serious about that.

I will be unusually quiet next week and be reunited with you on the week after that.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend of frivolities.

A bientot.

The Journey

2008-07-17T09:09:00.001-04:00

Good morning one and all.

It's journey day and I may get back to you later on that.

I'm off to a business meeting. If I don't return, have a very productive day!

The Mechanics

2008-07-16T07:58:00.008-04:00

In my grammar book Collins Good Grammar, Graham King has created a test and one of the questions is this:

Which sentence is correct:

Then, as he lay silently beside her she cried: A broken, hoarse cry that sprang from a buried memory of adolescence.

Then, as he lay silently beside her she cried: a broken, hoarse cry that sprang from a buried memory of adolescence.

Graham King claims that the second sentence is correct because a colon is not a full stop therefore a capital 'A' is not necessary. I agree that a colon is not a full stop but an argument can be made for the capital nonetheless.

I like to upper case letters after a colon when emphasis is in order. In this case the emotions that are coming from her are raw and integral to the meaning of the sentence so I would upper case the 'A' as in example one.

I'm not really concerned that Graham King would have marked my response wrong.

When I worked at the high tech firm downtown I used to upper case after colons too and another editor always lower cased them.

Did that stop me from upper casing them? Not once. If I'd had his position they would have all been left upper cased.

Such is life!

The Writer's Weekly

2008-07-15T08:52:00.002-04:00

Good morning!

I am reading the current issue of Poets & Writers Magazine and I always find really interesting articles on various aspects of the business.

This month they have included a book list for summer reading, but I always have a pile already chosen so I don't get into that.

There is, however, an interesting article on how to create complex characters that I intend to read. Even though I don't write short stories I do write other fiction and character development is always worth improving. Robert Boswell, in his article The Practice of Remaining in the Dark, suggests that we should write characters so that the reader only ever knows half of them. Boswell says that including the details one might expect but not anticipate creates rich characters. An interesting idea.

I like the idea of creating a character in the same way we get to know someone, the petals open and reveal the stamen within. You see layers of people as you get to know them, but with many people you feel as if you never really know all of them. That's when it's fun to have a character do something which seems totally out of character.

Isn't that what real life is often like? So many people are out of touch with who they are and that is when out-of-character actions come into play. The quiet family man that breaks under financial pressures and kills his whole family including himself. Or the conforming daughter that marries the 'ideal' husband and then just leaves one day abandoning her children forever.

These are examples of people extremely disconnected from who they are. A lot of the people in the world are like that!

Boswell asks a final question which I think is really interesting, he says: What would your character think of you.

Now that's a good one! Imagine your character looking back at you from the pages of your story. They know you pretty well because they've been inside your head. How would they see you in relation to their perceptions of the world?

I'm definitely going to try that. If I can see what they would see in me I'm on my way to making their character solid yet intriguing for the reader.

The Voice

2008-07-14T08:14:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all.

Why is it that some writer's voices are more accessible than others?

All you have to do is compare H.P Lovecraft's style to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's style and you will understand what I mean.

Many H.P Lovecraft mystery stories are rather esoteric. I realized this when I recommended his stories to a French Canadian friend of mine and then realized that the level of English was simply too complicated for someone who learned English in their 20s.

With H. P. Lovecraft you are often reading at university level (and beyond) and the way he weaves his tales is compelling and chilling all at once. You get the sense that he not only created his stories but lived them too, which I guarantee you is bone-chilling in its implications. That's what I love about his work! I can still remember reading his story 'Reanimator' and almost losing my cookies on the metro platform (it was unluckily right after I'd eaten lunch).

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has an entirely different style. His stories, though original and thoroughly creative in content, always follow a certain pattern. While you read them you sense a tidiness about his work, almost a routine that feels very safe within the confines of Sherlock's mystery scenes. I would think the writing level is around Grade 8, so Doyle's work is far more accessible to the masses.

I have always had a certain kinship with people who push the envelope in any artistic endeavour. I have the upmost respect for Doyle's process and works, but Lovecraft transports me somewhere else. There is something really over the line about some of Lovecraft's stories that appeals to my sense of creative adventure.

Getting work published is such a subjective lottery. If the right person reads your work and likes the voice, you'll get published. If the wrong person reads your work, you'll get passed over.

I always think about that when I research magazines and publishers that I'd like to work with.

How far am I willing to sacrifice my own personal style (if at all) to get published?

Always a good question. But when I come across a voice that I like I realize that sacrificing my own voice to become part of this writing world may actually be a disservice.

I firmly believe that it's the diversity that keeps the arts a living, breathing and growing entity, not the stagnation that comes from conforming.

Open Forum

2008-07-11T07:40:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all!

Happy Friday to you. It's one of those weeks where I feel as if I need some extra energy to motivate myself. I've felt like hiding part of the week (which never helps) and, well, quite frankly the universe bombarded me with too much and I am slowly dealing with all the emotions it has handed me.

Luckily some of the universe's information has been wonderful and happy and loving. That has helped me deal with the other really yucky discoveries that came my way on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I have never been good at dealing with death. I think it's because I have just seen too much of it from too young an age. When I was a young girl I just didn't know how to handle the absolute sadness I was feeling. Tragedy is hard to handle because it can happen so quickly. Suddenly your solid ground dissolves beneath you and you are falling...

Well, that's what it felt like when I was five. Now I know what reactions death brings up in me. I fight the panic and isolating feeling of it and make sure I look around and feel how solid and alive my life is.

That has been my struggle this week. I have moved past the sadness and now I'm angry. When people choose to kill themselves it is such a selfish act in some ways. I know why he did it. I knew him well enough to really get what he carried around inside. The battles he must have fought to stay real and present and gentle really must have been monumental. I understand all that, but now that he's at peace where the hell does that leave all the rest of us?

Well, here I guess. Here knowing we will never see him or talk with him again. That's pretty painful.

I have known for years that he could choose to give up, that maybe one day he just wouldn't be able to handle the memories and the emotional scars he carried with him. But I never gave up hope that maybe he'd have enough strength to fight it. I am an optimist and a fighter.

I must now come to terms with the fact that he just couldn't do it and that this planet has lost another person that is so sorely needed in this world.

All I can do now is never give up myself and help as many people as possible along my journey through this world.

With all my heart and soul I wish him peace.

The Journey

2008-07-10T09:19:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all, it's journey day!

I have had an incredible journey this week filled with wonders and heartbreaks.

My life is suddenly filled with a huge amount of love. I was doing pretty well before but my love meter skyrocketed in the last few weeks. It's a wonderful place to be and I wouldn't change it for the world. I finally feel as if I've come home after a long time of wandering (figuratively speaking). I'm home and the fireplace is on filling my space with the aroma and the essence of connection.

Death also came to call this week--the silencing discovery that someone you loved is no longer.

The hopelessness of suicide makes me wonder how being alone made it easier to face.

It is with my heart and soul that I lay to rest the person I once knew. Their energy is now transformed and they are freed from whatever earthly bonds they could not undo in their mind.

I will honour their memory with my continued survival, living my life to the fullest in every sense.

The love that I am blessed with has expanded me and I know that I was meant to be right here, right now.

Please, keep passing the open windows.

The Mechanics

2008-07-09T07:50:00.004-04:00

Good morning to you all.

Do you know what a synecdoche is?

I don't think I had ever heard this word before when I came across it in my Collins Good Grammar book.

Synecdoche is a figurative device in which a part is substituted for the whole or the whole for a part.

Having said that, what does it mean? Well, even though I didn't know what the word was I've been using the convention for years.

Here's an example: We sent over 200 head to market yesterday. This sentence has been shortened and head is replacing cattle in this example.

The king assembled a fleet of some 600 sail: Here sail is referring to some 600 ships.

In these last two examples part of a cow and part of a ship are used to indicate the whole.

England beat Australia by three wickets: Here England and Australia are used to indicate part--the English and Australian teams.

This device is used to achieve brevity and avoid repetition and is used extensively in newspaper writing.

One of the most common--and contentious--synecdochic expressions is man, which, in the sense of mankind, is only part of the whole--man and woman.

Yes, I can honestly say that is one synecdochic expression that I don't like at all. I never use it. Being the part of the whole that is being left out has never sat well with me.

Have a great one all! A demain.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-07-08T09:10:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all!

Honestly, I'm not sure what to write about today. I don't know if it's the heat or humidity (or the weird combination of both), but my brain doesn't feel like thinking too much.

I suppose this isn't the greatest scenario for a writer. I'm supposed to be thinking all the time, right? Well, I am but not necessarily about writers in the media. I guess that's the thing.

I'm thinking about new ideas for queries, I'm thinking about what it will be like to write articles for magazines, I'm thinking about other writing jobs I might like to do and whether I should get a new cell phone.

It's just all over the place in my brain today.

I'll have to try and rein it all in and come up with some coherent decisions.

But, then again, maybe not.

Maybe I'll just let all this stuff float around and fall into place by itself.

Isn't that what hot summer days are for after all?

Enjoy everyone! Enjoy!

The Voice

2008-07-07T08:10:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all!

I got a great response back from my query writing teacher. Apparently I have passed her query writing course with flying colours and can now put together enticing queries for magazine editors on my own.

For any of you that don't know, to get published in a magazine you have to send them a query that outlines your idea and how you would construct your article.

The query has to be concise and packed with information or the editor won't even bother reading it all. (Magazine editors are insanely busy!)

So basically, to even get your foot in the door the editors have got to like your query. And not only that. Your query has to stand up to scrutiny from all the editorial staff of the magazine before it gets chosen. Since I have never been published before in a glossy my query likely has to be even better. Being unknown means you've really got to prove yourself.

I find the whole process kinda thrilling really. I love challenges. Always have!

If I decide to tackle something, the harder it is the better. It's as if all my resolve grows and I find out I had more in me than I ever imagined. I love that!

So, now that I've mastered query writing it is only a matter of time before a magazine gives me a chance. Now that's really, really exciting.

Have a great day everyone and a demain!

Open Forum

2008-07-04T08:24:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's Friday already! How wonderful is that?!

I'm taking my son out for breakfast this morning--a ritual that we both really enjoy.

I have a thing for breakfast and apparently my son does too (it was his suggestion to go this morning).

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

See you on Monday.

The Journey

2008-07-03T09:13:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all, it's journey day once again.

Do you ever underestimate your abilities as a writer?

I wonder how many writers do this? I definitely do.

Sometimes I almost have to get smacked upside the head before I wake up.

I read a comment by a successful short story writer named Kris Babe in Poets & Writers Magazine (who was supporting himself and his family through his writing income) and he said he didn't think he was better than a lot of the other writers he'd met, just more persistent. He said he just kept sending out his stories until they were published and that he'd met more talented writers that gave up way too soon.

I found his comments interesting because having guts and being resilient and determined make a lot of difference to how people approach and succeed in this world.

It is a myth that great writers are 'discovered' almost instantly.

It is also a myth that writing is an elitist profession only done well by a small group of special people.

Writing is hard work, but it's work like any other kind of work.

Margaret Atwood, J. K. Rowling and many others have been rejected by publishers on countless occasions. We all have to start somewhere--yes, at the beginning.

I think that one of the mistakes I make is comparing my writing skills to other people rather than to myself. It's been several years now that I have been writing freelance and I should compare my writing now to what I was producing 7 years ago and realize how much more I know now.

Every writer has their own experience and background and likes and dislikes that they bring into their career.

Writers, in other words, each have their own universe. My writing universe won't be like anyone else's, nor should it be. But is it growing, progressing and am I getting more confident and stronger with every project I complete?

Those are the important questions. If the answer is yes, then I should throw caution to the wind and go for it. If the answer is no, I should take some courses and retrain myself to gain whatever confidence I'm lacking.

I'm happy to say the answer is yes.

So my journey now begins with a plan--just do it!

The Mechanics

2008-07-02T08:15:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all. It's mechanics day.

Between and among--when do we use them and why?

Between is used to connect two persons, objects or ideas: There is little difference between the two of them. She couldn't tell the difference between either of them.

Among, on the other hand, is used to connect several entities: There is little difference among all five candidates. He shared the reward among his friends.

However, where several things are considered individually between might be the better choice: He divided the reward equally between the five of us.

It's also worth remembering that when describing a choice, between is followed by and, not or: It's a matter of choosing between Jane and Matthew (not Jane or Matthew).

I hope you enjoyed another day of Grammar Girl and her quick and dirty tips.

A demain.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-07-01T08:23:00.002-04:00

Happy Canada Day to you all!

I didn't get a paper today so I don't really have an idea for my writers in the media blog.

I still can't quite work up the habit to look at newspapers online so I will leave my media blog until next week.

Reconnecting with old friends is a really wonderful experience. I found a high school friend on Facebook and she seems so much like she was at 17. She is my age now of course with a daughter and all that, but her essence is the same and it's really wonderful to know about her life again.

Reconnecting with her has brought me back to myself somehow.

Relationships are so important to our lives, but North American culture focuses on quick and fast and convenient in just about everything. Food, money, sex--it's all about more, more, more.

There is nothing genuine in that however. In fact, that is in direct contrast to how most people live their lives. Maybe that's why, when we are lonely, we buy into that idea. But it is just that--an idea.

There is nothing even vaguely fulfilling about living a fast-paced life and treating everything, including people, as disposable. That is a recipe for disaster!

I think a lot of people find it overwhelming how important people are to their lives. It's also very hard to come to terms with the fact that we make our own realities so we should really spend a lot of time looking after ourselves.

A fast-paced life implies that other people should look after you, but that it's an 'in and out' kinda deal. Never stay too long in one place, no emotions, just satisfy your desire--whatever that may be--and run. Ooohhh...that gives me the creeps just thinking about it.

That's the way you hold people at arm's length and self-protect to the max.

I think reconnecting with my school friend made me realize that I was very alive when I knew her. I was 17 and the world didn't scare me and I just lived and really cared about the people in my life.

It is so great to feel that way about life again and it was no accident that I found her now. That's where I am and exactly where I want to be.

The Voice

2008-06-30T07:51:00.003-04:00

I'm late writing my blog today because I was helping a friend close to my heart move some necessities into his apartment.

It's that crazy July 1st moving week here and it's total chaos everywhere.

It's not easy to focus when the weather is beautiful too.

I'm off to Old Montreal later to wander and soak up the ambiance. I can't wait.

Life has gotten in the way of my work schedule and I am simply letting it. I figure I've spent lots of time working recently and now it's time to enjoy my summer and play.

I know myself well--when I need to get cracking I will.

Life isn't always fun, but when it is you've gotta throw yourself into it wholeheartedly.

That's my plan.

I wish you all a wonderful, beautiful Montreal summer day!

A demain.

Open Forum

2008-06-27T09:21:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all.

The air in Montreal feels like pea soup.

It's thick and warm and vaguely green (oddly enough) and it feels as if it's on the cusp of crying.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Maybe we're in store for one of those interminably humid summer days that causes you to move slowly and drink plenty of beer.

I'm ready. I can handle it. Jazz, humidity and beer--what else is there is life...oh, and love, of course.

The Journey

2008-06-26T09:44:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's Thursday already. I always love journey day!

My journey has been circuitous at times but is now sailing on a clean line.

I am starting to see the future moving towards me and I like it.

I am on a sailboat looking across the bow, the open world expanse before my eyes.

Today is query writing day so that is where my head is. Ideas tumbling together to form an angle, an idea that will encourage a reader to read.

That's a wonderful challenge.

'How can I get this person to read my article?' I think to myself.

The Mechanics

2008-06-25T10:50:00.003-04:00

Good morning to you all.

At my business meeting this morning a group of us were discussing how to lose a client.

Anyone who has ever worked freelance knows that not all clients are created equal. There are some clients that are simply not worth working with.

A number of us made different comments (based on our personal experiences) and I thought I'd share a few of the most thoughtful ones with you.

Always be professional and diplomatic when ending a relationship with a client. (In other words, do not make the situation personal and inflammatory. Remember word gets around and if your conduct is of the two-year-old tantrum variety people will find out about it!)
Writing a concise and clear letter informing the client of the termination is a very professional way to approach a client. (This gives your ex-client the time and distance necessary to really think through your termination. Note: Having someone else read your letter before you send it is always a good way to avoid any emotional words that may have slipped in.)
Have a clear concept of how you want to run your business and what your limitations are. (If you already have a business model that you follow new clients won't be able to push you around. They may try but you can then firmly say how you choose to work, and how you don't.)
Make sure that you are upfront and very clear about how you charge and what your fee will be for the project. (If you don't do this clients will complain that they were not informed about your fee and often not pay you what you feel you deserve.)
You will receive what you give as far as consideration and respect are concerned. (This is not true from all your clients of course, but the vast majority of them will be attracted to you for the qualities you project.)
Last but absolutely not least, don't take any business relationship personally. ( This seems to be the hardest point for most people, but one I think is essential. There is a reason why it's called business after all.)

I hope you find these points useful.

I have noticed as my business has matured that I tend to attract clients that I can work with very well. I am faced with less and less high-maintenance clients and I can also see potential problem clients much more quickly than I used to.

These abilities have likely come from experience and having a very clear model about how I want to work and how I absolutely don't.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-06-24T08:42:00.002-04:00

Happy St-Jean Baptiste Day everyone!

It is a holiday here in Quebec so I am not going to write my usual blog.

I feel too relaxed to really think about writers in the media. Anyway, there's no paper today to give me an idea so...I will write about freedom.

Freedom comes from within.

When you allow yourself to be exactly who you truly are you are setting yourself free.

This is something I have recently put into practice and the experiences I have had since freeing myself are huge.

I now understand why great minds throughout history have discussed inner freedom.

I think many of us have been in situations where we felt cloistered--a relationship that demanded sacrifice rather than giving unconditional acceptance, for example.

The question I asked myself was this: If I have to be someone else, act like someone I am not to live this life then am I really living at all?

The answer of course is: No.

I chose to live my life and no one else's. Why?

Because there's a reason why I am who I am and I want to know what that reason is.

Don't you?

The Voice

2008-06-23T07:49:00.005-04:00

Good morning to you all.

It's Monday once again and I feel energized this week. I have had two or three weeks of thinking and deciding, but now I've made some decisions and I'm ready for action.

It's interesting how I go through periods of calm (sometimes it almost feels like stagnation) creatively speaking. I have ideas but they won't come out in any concrete form. Then suddenly my brain has thought them through for long enough and they spill out at an alarming rate.

That's where I am now.

I like to set myself goals so that the calm never lasts indefinitely. I had already decided and told one of my mentors that I'd have work ready by the end of this week. That forces my head to set deadlines of its own and have the thinking done at the right time so that the ideas can spill out at the right time as well.

It took me years of refining my writing process to come up with this time management system that works for me. Everyone has to create their own system I realize. Some people leave it to the last minute and find that the pressure stimulates their creativity. Other people are the slow and steady type that work a bit every day no matter what. I know there are certain days when new ideas just won't flow. I have learned not to fight it (though it can still cause a bit of frustration) and I do other things that have got to be done anyway, such as book keeping, working on current contracts, researching the job market, networking and so on.

And if I can't focus on any of those things either I clean my house.

So now my brain feels as if it's on fire. I always feel a bit restless and edgier when I am in this state, but I always get a lot done too so it's all good.

This is when I say to myself (thanks to Wayne Gretzky): You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

A demain.

Open Forum

2008-06-20T08:09:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all.

I love my Fridays. There's something about this day of the week that brings good things to mind. Maybe it's the upcoming weekend, maybe it's going out for lunch and casual day at work, I'm really not sure. All I know is that people laugh a lot more on Fridays--I'm sure of it.

There's a relaxed feeling in the air and it's hard to miss if you pay attention. Also you've got a week of work behind you to feel proud of so it's OK to give yourself a little on a Friday. An extra coffee break, lunch out or maybe a 5 a 7 at the local pub after work--why not you earned it.

It's the day where my mind is lying in a hammock stretching out thinking of possibilities. Ahhh, wonderful!

I wish you all a spectacular weekend.

The Journey

2008-06-19T12:02:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all, it's journey day!

I don't know why I chose Thursday to be the day I talk about my journey (as a writer and a person), but it is always the perfect day for this blog. I have never had any problem finding lots to say and, of course, today is no exception.

I realize more than ever that for me becoming a successful writer had to include giving up my fear. That was a crucial step in my writing journey. Without that step I would not have been able to benefit from the query writing course that I took or believe that I would get published.

I used to see getting published as an uphill battle. I knew I wanted it but it felt as if there were barriers in my way. The barriers were my own (as I have written before) and the road is not uphill, it's a wide open field instead.

It's wonderful how little choices can make revolutionary changes in your life.

It took me years of hard personal work to release my fears and it has taken me years of hard work to become the writer that I am as well. These journeys have been running parallel to each other, but I am thrilled to say they are finally merging.

I have been learning that all aspects of my life are really one. If you disrespect or neglect one aspect you are actually harming all others.

This is a very freeing concept to me. I have decided to be here, be present and completely myself across all aspects of my life. My professional, personal, parental, and so on are all getting all of me at the necessary times. This is why my journeys are merging.

I was compartmentalizing them before because some of them had to sit on a shelf for a while. As the last few years have unfolded I have been able to, one by one, take the shelved aspects and give them the attention they needed.

The shelf is now empty and I am whole again. But not only whole, but without fear as well.

I have no doubt that that means I will end up being, creating, loving and living exactly the way I am supposed to.

I will leave you with this quote by Ambrose Redmoon: Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

The Mechanics

2008-06-18T08:54:00.003-04:00

Good morning to you all. It's mechanics day!

Today it's all about direct and indirect questions.

'Are you going to the game?' is a direct question and because it is direct it requires a question mark.

'I asked him if he was going to the game. ' is an indirect question and doesn't require a question mark.

These two examples are pretty straightforward I realize but it isn't always that simple, for example: Why should allegations that go unchallenged in America be subject of legal action in Britain, asks Roy Greenslade.

This above example doesn't require a question mark. Why not? It is a novel example of an indirect question. If we rewrote it like this 'Roy Greensdale asks why should allegations that go unchallenged in America be the subject of legal action in Britain,' you can see that is is not direct at all.

Here is another example that really illustrates the direct versus indirect idea: Roy Greensdale asks, 'Why should allegations that go unchallenged in America be subject of legal action in Britain?' (Notice the slight punctuation difference between this sentence and the one above.)

Should there be a question mark at the end of his 'question?' No. The sentence should end with a period or be rewritten to include a direct question.

A lot of writers make these errors and I remember debating these exact issues when I worked with a group of editors in-house. Indirect questions aren't always obvious. In the indirect examples above someone else is speaking for Roy and that's what makes it indirect. I'll try to keep that in mind when these issues come up again--because I know they will.

Have a great day everyone!

A demain.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-06-17T08:11:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all. I have a question for all you writers out there.

Do you think that writing books feeds a writer's ego?

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine last night and he mentioned that J. K. Rowling published her first two books while remaining anonymous.

Is there something more noble about doing that?

Does that mean that she wrote the initial Harry Potter books because she knew she had books within her that needed to come out and then maybe later on turned more to wanting to capitalize on her commercial success (or please the public)?

I think this is a really good question. Why? Well, often people start out as unknowns. Dr. Phil of Oprah fame is a great example. I read his first book Life Strategies and I found it really clear and no-frills and his appearances on Oprah were pretty humble and straightforward at the beginning. But his books changed the more popular and well-known he became as did his TV persona and I felt, when I saw him on TV, that he'd almost become a caricature of himself. Not good.

I don't think that has happened with Rowling, but I don't really follow her that closely.

It seems to be a common trend that as people become known that they change into something else when faced with all the attention and fame. Not everyone loses themselves in the spotlight, but many people do.

I have noticed that people blog about hoping to write that book that brings them the million dollar deal and a trip to Oprah and I have wondered if they really believe that fame will make them better or larger somehow.

I am not sure that I would want to gauge my worth based on what the American population thinks of me and my work I can tell you that.

Writing is really hard. I know I'm stating the obvious here but I don't think it can be said too many times. Writing a book can take years and I find it hard to believe that anyone would do it, at least initially, to feed their ego. But if their first book really took off, yes I could see the ego coming into it.

For me, right now, I just have certain things I want and need to say. I don't care if I'm ever on Oprah or even if I get on a best-sellers list sometime. I just want to feel that I did my absolute best with whatever work I created. That my work came from knowing what my inner-purpose is and that my creative fuel originates in the universe. If that's the case I know I will be successful at whatever I do, successful under my own terms--not the 'success' that society may want to impose on me.

The Voice

2008-06-16T07:47:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all. It's Monday once again, wow, where did the weekend go?

This week I have got to put my writer's hat back on and get down to business. I had so many distractions and other business to attend to over the last couple weeks that I chose to let my creative juices take a vacation.

The juices did slack off but not entirely and I have some newspaper clippings in my folder that are the seeds of future ideas. The writer's hat may have not been on my head, but it was close by.

I have one query that is still out there and I am hoping it will come back with an assignment attached to it. If that happens the champagne will be flowing here I can tell you.

Anyway, I will get back to query writing this week and brainstorming some other ideas as well.

I really did succeed in giving up my fear last week. My universe did tilt and I have already seen obvious changes in my personal life. I am sure I will see it in my professional life as well.

I knew somehow that I would never really be successful as a writer (or person) until I let my fears lose their hold over me. That only makes sense and I want a well-rounded life. I don't want to be successful only as a writer and have my personal life fraught with conflict. That's not who I am.

I have been working from Tolle's words: Each person's life--each life form--represents a world, a unique way the universe experiences itself. When your form dissolves, a world comes to an end--one of countless worlds.

That means that we are all unique and the universe has chosen to express itself through our unique forms. This makes all humans equal and includes every life form as well. All life is important and has a place in the energy of our lives.

I love that idea because it means that we are all here for a reason and we are all expected to live out that reason, that purpose. I am definitely finding my purpose and it is so expanding.

Oddly enough Facebook has helped me expand my universe as well. Maybe the advents of technology aren't all as distancing as I once thought.

I wish you all a wonderful Monday.

A demain.

The Journey

2008-06-12T07:46:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all, it's journey day!

I won't be writing tomorrow so I will include Open Forum in my blog today.

I was mentioning the fact that Facebook found me yesterday and after checking it out some more my blog takes priority.

Facebook isn't really me. My profile looks rather wholesome and small compared to some people, but my eyes have been opened looking at some other people's profiles.

My cousin says she always looks up people on Facebook before hiring anyone and now I know why. One guy I know is a major player on Facebook. It didn't totally surprise me to see that, but I certainly wouldn't consider him for a 'serious' job based on his profile that's for sure. But he wasn't the only one like that I assure you. All my 'friends' on Facebook are normal people that use the site to keep in touch with people and to post their photos and videos and so on. But some people seem to make it into a competition to see who has the most 'friends.' I've never understood that clique-like behaviour. Just because you have more friends doesn't mean you're a better person. That's why I still see the site as being for teenagers. It's that mentality of more is better--you know that popularity thing that I guess some people never grow out of. I was never into that to begin with so...I look wholesome on Facebook. So be it.

I have had a wild week in other ways that don't include any web sites. I have made some serious promises to myself that I have kept and it has transformed my life. It is interesting how right Marcel Proust was when he said: The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. Of course to 'have new eyes' you must change from within the way you are perceiving the world. To change your perception you must change the way you see yourself. It all comes from within.

I have always been an avid reader of quality new age materials about spirituality and personal growth and I have read countless times the idea that change can only come from within. Since I was a child I have had sneak peeks into this idea but I really didn't completely get it until about 6 months ago.

My perception of the world is now totally different than it was even a month ago.

I do not look at myself the same way I used to at all. I have consciously focused my forgiveness, love and genuine friendship onto myself and in turn healed a lot of the issues I had been carrying around with me. Sometimes I wonder how I left the house with all the crap I had stowed away in all my pockets.

I now leave the house much lighter and the new eyes with which I see the world are real and unfettered.

I now see everyone and everything as being whole and real and important. The respect I have for my friends, my family, my animals, my work, nature, well, pretty much everything has skyrocketed.

I wish you all a wonderful day and a relaxing weekend!

A lundi!

The Mechanics

2008-06-11T10:20:00.002-04:00

Today is yet another day that I will not be sticking to my title topic. Ah, such is life, again.

I have been found by Facebook.

At first I thought the whole thing was kinda juvenile but now I am beginning to like it. I can see how it would definitely appeal to teenagers. Making up a profile of yourself and adding photos and all that is fun. It reminded me a bit of starting this blog however I find blogging infinitely more satisfying.

On Facebook you aren't really saying that much about yourself and they put a huge focus on friends and networks. I can see how that side of it definitely appeals to the teenage crowd. I did find quite a few people I know on it though too and they are not teenagers. So, I am reevaluating my first impression of Facebook.

I guess for me to find it really satisfying I'd have to have a place on it to make comments regularly. I don't think it has that. Anyway, I'll keep experimenting.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-06-10T10:26:00.002-04:00

Good morning everyone!

I find that my blogs are sticking less and less to the titles I created. Oh, well.

I have given up my fear. You know those nagging little voices in your head that say things to stop you, to scare you even. The dreaded 'what if' voices. Well, I've decided not to listen to them anymore.

This has been a long process--it definitely didn't happen over night. When something big goes wrong that 'what if' voice can really take over your head. It says to you, 'well, you failed at that so maybe you'll fail at this and this and this too.' So over time I have learned to pay less and less attention to that voice. And with renewed confidence comes more silence. The voice's volume steadily grows quieter until now I can barely hear it.

Choosing to give up that fear has really changed my life. Doors have opened where I thought they would be closed for sure. I mean I was convinced that they'd be closed! I was really, really wrong! Realizing that has suddenly opened my eyes.

I was looking at the world as if a barrier existed in front of my path. It's as if I felt I constantly had to climb over something or swerve around something to get to where I wanted to go.

In reality I think people had to constantly climb over something or swerve around something to get to me. And of course not too many people bothered to try, I mean why would they? I had set up so many road blocks that I was practically unattainable.

Well, the road blocks have fallen. I feel really light and strangely exposed but not in a scary way. I write differently, I talk differently, I ask for what I want without hesitation (remember no more 'what ifs') and I'm overwhelmed by the response I've gotten.

Honestly, if only I'd been able to do this sooner I would have gotten what I wanted all that time ago. But, I wasn't ready then and that's the real truth. The road blocks were up because I wasn't able to live completely honestly and fully, not then.

But I am now.

This required a lot of courage and hard work and soul searching (literally). And I am continuing on that journey. This is only the beginning, I am convinced of that.

The Voice

2008-06-09T07:16:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all and welcome to The Voice.

It's another steamy day in Montreal and I am seriously considering putting in my air conditioner. I always seem to leave it until it's practically too late and then I have to go searching around for some strong arms to help me do it. Ah, the life of a delicate female (well, not exactly delicate, but I'm not built like a rugby player either). I always find someone though so I'm not too worried.

My voice has been changing again simply because my outlook is changing too. Life just doesn't look the same as it did even a month ago.

I used to wonder a lot and ask questions like, "What if..." and, "Where do I go from here?" and so on. Some philosophers have considered these existential questions that are worth asking simply because they are worth answering. I, however, think questions like these muddy the waters.

If a lot of our internal dialogue revolves around hesitation, fear, insecurity and inaction it will simply cause more hesitation, fear, insecurity and inaction.

If you know what you should be doing you will go out and do it. Why? Because it just feels right in your gut. You may not even have any internal dialogue about it at all, you often just go out and do it.

I have realized that thinking things through and through and through is actually a form of avoidance. Rather than really dealing with the issue at hand you simply think about it and consequently never really do anything at all.

My writing was getting to be like that at one point. It simply wasn't hitting the mark and I knew it. I was hesitant to really delve into my main characters, or my thesis, or my verse. This caused people to look at my work and think, "This has the makings of something great but..." It was the 'but' that I had to come to terms with.

Realizing, over the course of the last few months, that the universe is far more forgiving and generous than I once thought has really changed the way I do things. I no longer worry about sending that e-mail or making that phone call or writing that story, article, poem...Why not? Because even if I don't succeed in one place I will in another simply because I have put the right energy out there into the world.

I have had lots of personal experiences that attest to this and they just keep coming.

So my voice is no longer afraid to get to know my main characters, or the issues embedded in my articles, or the verses in my poems. The hesitation, fear, insecurity and inaction are all gone.

I feel lighter. I feel more in touch with what's really happening now. And I am proud of myself too.

Have a great one all!

A demain.

Open Forum

2008-06-06T07:39:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all and Happy Friday!

I had another dream last night about having an apartment downtown and also living out here. In the dream last night I was describing to someone how I was buying furniture for my apartment and starting to add in the personal touches.

I have a theory about why I am dreaming about living in two places. First of all, I know it is not literal. I spent enough time in two places as a child and I don't like going back and forth anymore.

I think it is a way that my consciousness is handling the fact that my life can be very different depending on the day. Some days I work, some days I'm with my son, some evenings I'm free, other evenings I'm not. My life is very compartmentalized into brief periods of space.

What I do with that space depends on the demands on my time.

I find the apartment downtown idea really liberating. In the first dream I had just rented it and this time I was buying furniture (and it was pretty cool stuff too) and rugs and so on. I was working downtown and enjoying it and living out here too when I was in my 'Mom' space.

I can't wait to see how it develops in further dreams.

I was spending a lot of time with a friend of mine in the dream too. Talking about work (because we were working together) but talking about life as well. We spent more time talking than working and this has been a trend in my dreams too.

I have been dreaming about friends that I know (they don't always look exactly the same as in real life) and we have been talking and hanging out and connecting.

All I can conclude from these dreams is that I am creating space within my mind for all of my different roles and manifesting the need for connections with people I care about.

The dreams are reflecting the fact that I believe I have the right to do what I want and want what I want in my life. They aren't needy dreams striving for something to fill in the emptiness or loneliness. They are dreams that are already full. The dreams are simply an inner-expression of what is already happening to me. When I wake up from one I feel as if I have been reading a book about myself, it's a most exceptional, wonderful feeling.

I can't help but feel that something awesome (and universal) is happening to me. If I were dancing, spinning round and round that would come close to expressing the way I feel right now.

The Journey

2008-06-05T08:29:00.002-04:00

What's my journey been like recently? Eventful, as always.

One of the things that I have noticed more than ever is a continuity of relationships with people that seems to be a pattern of my life.

Many people remain part of my life even if I don't see them for a year or even two. I then suddenly run into them again and the friendship is renewed almost as if there hadn't been a break.

At first I thought it was happening now and then, but it happens with different people more and more regularly.

The friendship is similar to what it was before, but different in some important ways that makes the pattern all the more significant. My friendships are becoming more and more honest and reciprocal and, well, loving. It's as if my own journey is attracting different things from people I have known for years. What they are giving me now is far more mature and long-standing than what we initially shared.

I have 'grown up' a lot over the last year or so and it is not surprising to me that I would be attracting a different level of communication from these people.

I just find it so amazing that it is happening with many different people from different parts of my life.

It is quite liberating because it is direct proof that we make our own realities. The quote from Tolle 'Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world,' is proven with my ongoing friendships.

I used to think the world was withholding honesty and shared experiences and love. I no longer feel that way and have made very specific efforts to give all those elements back to the world and in turn I am receiving them back as well.

That's what Tolle said would happen and of course he is right because he already knew it works because it does. It's as simple as that.

The more I learn about the universe, the simpler it becomes.

There are no absolutes, everything is gray.

When we make up rules for ourselves and others, we are setting up walls and boundaries and complicating life. Life is not complicated, it is simple.

Looking within and acting from your own inner-purpose is what makes life uncomplicated.

The path you take should be peaceful and genuine, if it is not then you are getting caught up in the details.

Details are not life.

You should be your own priority. Why?

Because if you aren't you certainly won't be anyone else's.

The Unmechanics Day

2008-06-04T08:25:00.003-04:00

Today is yet another day where my schedule is just not possible.

It is on days like this that I have to tell myself 'the only constant is change.'

Hearing that over and over in my head helps me cope with the constant interruptions, the comments like 'I'm bored!' and 'I'm hungry!' and the sound of Sponge Bob in the background.

Luckily, today is a filing day. Now that the taxes are ready for the accountant I can move on to filing 2007 away and bringing in the new year. I find this one of the most boring activities on the planet and one of the most satisfying (once it's done and not before).

So, my office will feel less cluttered by the end of today and I will have said 'the only constant is change' 5 million times (or at least it'll feel that way).

Have a great one all!

The Writer's Weekly

2008-06-03T13:09:00.002-04:00

I'm doing my taxes today. I know, I know I'm late (as usual).

See you tomorrow!

The Voice

2008-06-02T10:17:00.003-04:00

Good morning everyone. It's Monday.

My routine has been somewhat bizarre recently because my son has been home with a weird stomach thing. Consequently, I don't do anything at the time I normally do and I am interrupted a lot. This experience leaves me feeling like a flag flapping in the wind, a great symbol but not really useful.

I was reading the current blog by Tamara Lee from the Canadian Writers' Collective and it is true that women are more timid about putting themselves out there into the writing world. I am sure there are many different reasons depending on the person and so on but I can think of one that might be universal. Women play the role of peace keepers in families. We help things work better and things run more smoothly and we don't fight for our positions we negotiate.

Men play a lot more organized sports than women. Men fight physically a lot more than women. Men are naturally more aggressive as a gender. I think most men feel they will have to compete and fight and strive for whatever position they want in the world (never mind the fact that they compete for women all the time). So if a man yelled out from the crowd during a reading and said 'You suck!' the guy reading would fight back whereas the woman would wonder where the comment was coming from.

That's what makes men and women so wonderfully different (and why I think this world would be a MUCH more peaceful place if women and men EQUALLY decided on the political decisions in every country).

Women reflect and wonder and then act (most of the time), men do those things too but later. First men react and that's likely why being out in the world is easier for them to just do. I don't believe that women should become more like men. What would be the purpose of that? Women are unique and see things differently for a reason. Men do too.

Thinking that women and men are competitors is really the wrong way to look at things. It's really a yin-yang idea. We complement each other as long as we are allowed to be ourselves whichever gender we are.

It's unfortunate in our world that differences are either ridiculed or feared, at least initially.

The decision by the Catholic Church to not let women become priests is an example of the division, artificially created, between the sexes. Male priests would lose 'control' if women were 'allowed' to be their equals. Ironically male Catholic priests would gain so much more if they could only embrace the other half of the world's population.

Whenever you are faced with a person or group that thrives on separation and division you know it is the ego at work.

The Saturday Unexpected

2008-05-31T09:23:00.002-04:00

It's Saturday morning and I don't usually write on the weekend, but as I told someone the other day with me expect the unexpected.

I actually expected to be grocery shopping right now but it's raining pretty hard so I have opted out of food shopping for today. Why get soaked if you don't have to?

I am suddenly faced with one of the most exciting realities: I can do whatever I want.

I know that sounds really basic, but how many people that you know (and maybe even yourself) feel 'trapped' somewhere or by something that isn't even real?

Right, a lot of people feel that way.

I just suddenly realized that any 'traps' that I once felt caught in were entirely in my mind. And even if I was trapped as a child (and I was for a while) I kept on feeling trapped for years after I was 'untrapped.'

And suddenly that illusion of being caught has fallen away.

I even dreamed last night about being free and unfettered. I had two places of my own. One place could be thought of as 'a room of my own' and another where I live as a family.

I think my mind has given me the space to be both alone and not alone in my consciousness, in my soul.

There are times when I am very much alone. Now is one of those times. I know I will not be interrupted by anyone and I can write and think and be. Eventually I will get in my car and drive away and then I will come back.

Tomorrow will not be like that however. It will be filled with hockey and groceries and a birthday party.

But these two very different worlds make up a large part of my life. I have finally struck a balance between them and given myself the permission to live both of these lives to the fullest by being in whatever moment I am in at that time.

I no longer let myself dwell on the past or get pulled into the future. I simply dwell in the now.

That doesn't mean I don't plan or save or organize, but I do all that at a specific time and with purpose. When I am done planning I am done and I then move on to the moment I am in.

But by realizing I can do whatever I want I have let go of all that fear that I carried around with me for years. I have simply decided not to worry or fear or hesitate, I just don't see the point in it anymore. I no longer live in that moment of indecision or anxiety.

Now when I hear people say: I don't really have a choice, I'm so busy I don't have time, and so on, I know these statements simply aren't true. They are making a choice to not really have a choice or they are choosing to stay so busy that they simply don't have the time.

I've been there and done that, but no more.

I can choose to do whatever I want and I don't choose excuses and chaos, I choose now.

Open Forum

2008-05-30T07:19:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all and welcome to another open forum.

It's been a very interesting week. A lot of things have happened and I am trying to figure out how to describe them.

I finished my query course and it was really great. I will get Helena to look over some of my queries in the future until I start getting magazine assignments and feel I'm really on my way.

The query course was the exact opposite of the short story class I went to (thank the Goddess Above for that). Helena was professional but real and very open and generous about her suggestions, comments and changes. I got the feeling that she was enabling my future success. I definitely didn't feel that way at the short story class.

In that class I felt as if my work was being looked at from a very small and snobby perspective. I'm not actually sure he really knew what he was talking about upon reflection. But one thing I did feel was that instead of being enriched by his 'knowledge' I felt greatly limited, almost as if he felt only an elite few would ever be 'something' as far as he was concerned. So instead of being generous, he was elitist.

He reminded me of some of my university professors actually (and he is currently teaching at Concordia). That 'I will always know more than you' way that they speak and talk down to you. It is sad that he relies on his position to step on other people's creative juices--a sure sign of insecurity and small-mindedness!

Anyway, I've been through that when I did my degree and I won't go through that again. Being treated like a lesser human being intellectually is old and tired and, well, I just don't put up with that crap anymore!

What else? My high tech project is on hold so I am going to look after some things I've been putting off.

I find that the universe is infinitely generous with me now and that all loose ends have resolved themselves. I have a sense of moving forward from here and I really like where my forward motion is taking me!

I wish you all a wonderful, fun-filled weekend of love and friendship.

I will see you all again on Monday.

The Journey

2008-05-29T10:16:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all.

I won't be writing for journey day today.

I let my son have a day off from school to just hang out so I am not really working today.

I will be back tomorrow because I have definitely started a new journey!

A demain.

The Mechanics

2008-05-28T07:53:00.002-04:00

Well, Wednesday is usually mechanics day, but I'm just not in that kinda mood at all this morning.

I don't feel like being picky or analytical or even all that observant. No, my brain really wants to wander today.

My high tech project has been put on hold so I can spend my day floating around in my mind. These are always delicious days for me. It reminds me of summer vacation and the endless days of doing whatever I wanted.

So, I will take advantage of the mellow day to just be with myself by walking my dog and cleaning my house and writing in my journal. I just sent out two queries yesterday so I can take a break from that for the moment.

I know I should go to the bank and go to Chapters, but likely I won't.

I will meet the school bus this afternoon, but that's about all I want to schedule.

I wish you all a wonderful day in whatever form turns your dials.

A demain.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-05-27T07:31:00.003-04:00

Good morning everyone! This is my 100th post! Time goes by so quickly.

Our Governor-General Michaelle Jean was recently called a reine-negre (negro queen) by Victor-Levy Beaulieu, a writer of fiction, non-fiction, drama and poetry. He is considered one of Quebec's intellectual heavyweights.

Beaulieu said Ms. Jean was appointed to her post as G-G because she was "black, young, pretty, ambitious, and because of her husband, certainly a nationalist as well."

In a recent interview the author defended his text saying he had not intended to be racist.

That's not how some of the Quebec political leaders see it however.

He may be considered an intellectual heavyweight, but that does not give him the right to voice his narrow-minded comments regarding a person based on their skin colour. (If Jean had been white I seriously doubt he would have nicknamed her the reine-blanche.) Living in Quebec I am well aware of how racist Quebecers (especially older Quebecers) can be. If you travel to Quebec City, for example, you will find hardly any non-white people living there. It is not hard to figure out why, they are not welcome. It's hard to explain, but the few minorities that I have met that lived there said they were not really welcomed anywhere and soon moved to Montreal.

M. Beaulieu recently threatened to burn copies of his entire body of work as a protest against the growth of bilingualism in Quebec.

Burn copies of his books in protest...give me a break! There's something strangely medieval about that threat. And what a great loss it would be to have a few less of his books on this planet. He obviously thinks very highly of himself!

I have never understood why French Canadians becoming proficient in English threatens some Quebecers so much. I think it could only be an advantage. Being bilingual opens many doors and it does not mean that the French Canadian culture will disappear! I think it adds to the culture immensely.

But if you watch the news here in French you realize that Quebecers are very isolated. The French news does not report on world events like the English media does. When watching the French news you could almost forget that there are other countries and bigger issues than French Canadian children learning English at school, for example. It's a very skewed version of what's going on and it appears that M. Beaulieu has bought into that view as well.

It is unfortunate that so many people want to put up fences around themselves. As soon as M. Beaulieu nicknamed a prominent black woman in one of his pieces he displayed his complete ignorance of black culture and, of course, our Governor-General as well.

The Voice

2008-05-26T07:35:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all. It's Monday.

My voice has been changing recently thanks to Helena Katz. I am just finishing up her query writing course. She has been published in many magazines and that's where I want to get published so I thought what a great opportunity the course would be. It definitely has been.

My queries were not quite focused enough and way too long. I have successfully trimmed down two of my ideas and I am going to work on the third today. The course ends on Friday. I have even sent out my first idea already so I cross my fingers on that one!

It's really amazing how many different skills we have to learn to be writers. Some of them overlap of course, but some of them really don't. For example, learning to focus my ideas and present them in a clear and concise way helps all my writing. It definitely is a necessary skill when writing a magazine article. And I use those same skills writing high tech collateral of course (this is for you again J-M), but learning the high tech language is very specific only to that genre of writing.

That's also the case for children's fiction. The voice of children's writing is very unique. I am working away on my fiction book and that is full of emotion and description and breath. The characters dance through my mind as I craft the story. It 's a wonderful feeling.

I can't say that writing high tech collateral dances exactly. It's more like using a scalpel and carefully crafting the sentences. It's a highly skilled job that requires patience, clarity and Google (as a necessary reference).

I wish you all a wonderful Monday.

And if I get a magazine assignment you'll be the first to know!

Open Forum

2008-05-23T08:59:00.002-04:00

Happy Friday everyone.

OK, basset hounds are stubborn. An irony that has not escaped me as I can be stubborn myself. I have had my doggie for over a month now and on three separate occasions he has frustrated the dickens out of me by putting on the brakes. He stops, looks up at me with his sad eyes and refuses to move.

This morning was a test for me, I just know it. I took deep breaths, looked at the beautiful trees, laughed when he rolled in whatever he rolled in, but finally I had to drag him a bit on about three occasions. I don't like forcing anyone to do anything, but I refuse to walk in the opposite direction of my house when I'm heading home.

This time however it didn't make me mad. So, I'm improving. (And let's face it, I have dealt with a toddler.) You can't reason with a toddler or dog, but a dog doesn't throw a tantrum so...

How am I going to deal with this on a freezing cold -15 C day? I'll let you know.

All I do know is that I'm not violent at all. I would never hurt my doggie and I don't believe in hitting anyone. Never have, never will.

I am more likely to cry actually. A good cry is always good for the soul. Even if they are tears of frustration.

Have a great weekend everyone and see you on Monday.

The Journey

2008-05-22T07:32:00.003-04:00

Good morning one and all. It's journey day.

The journeys that I have taken as a writer and as a person have been running parallel (and I just really noticed it yesterday).

How can I explain that!?

My writing experience has increased exponentially over the last couple years simply because I worked in-house and also started writing more and more for myself. In my mind writing became my profession and my passion along that road. It went from being an idea to being a reality.

My journey as a person has taken the same path. The idea of becoming myself was, at first, an idea. But that has since transformed into who I really am and how I really want to be. I know that sounds a little weird, but let me explain.

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I forgot who I was and who I wanted to be. I got caught up in a dysfunctional relationship and being a mom and just lost myself. It has been a very interesting journey finding my way back. At first finding myself was just an idea (I knew I was lost and knew I had to be found). But then it slowly started to happen bit by bit by bit until one day I was walking down a street in Old Montreal and I could feel the remaining pieces coming back to me. It was as if they physically reincorporated into my body and suddenly I was whole again.

It was only a week after that that I started working from my home office again. I am sure the closeness of those events were not a coincidence.

I found the quote by Tolle (from my blog yesterday) very moving and already experienced some results from putting out into the world what I felt the world was withholding from me.

For a long time I was very critical of myself. I was harsh and demanding of myself in a way that was extremely detrimental. I am no longer that way. I actually have let myself off the hook for things I would rather not have done knowing that I did the best I could at the time.

Last night I was out chatting at my local bar and received an apology and an explanation that I NEVER thought I would receive. I really didn't need the apology, I had already settled the situation in my mind but there I was receiving it anyway. I was a little surprised and honoured at the same time.

I realized that the universe was giving me back the forgiveness and explanation that I had withheld. The simple fact that I no longer required it changed the whole energy between myself and the other person and I ended up with more than I had ever anticipated.

It is hard to express how this newfound synchronicity has changed my life. I am not sure I would have noticed these subtle, beautiful gifts even months ago.

I will keep giving what I feel has been withheld, but I have a feeling that I will realize that nothing has been withheld at all. Imagine how my life will change if I truly realize that!

My life will become wide open--what an absolutely wonderful idea!

The Mechanics

2008-05-21T07:28:00.003-04:00

Good morning to you all.

Today I am going to skip my mechanics day to discuss a quote I read yesterday that I think is quite profound.

"Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world." Eckhart Tolle

If you are at a place inside yourself where you are conscious of what you feel the world isn't giving you, this quote makes a lot of sense. Ultimately, it is never about what the world isn't giving you, it is about what you aren't giving the world.

There were days when I was so sad and caught up in my sadness (after my divorce) that I just couldn't see anything happy. I was then creating sadness for myself in my world as well.

We all have moments like this in our lives sometimes. But we don't have to allow our feelings to take over every situation that comes upon us. You can actually learn to step back from your feelings, it's not easy but it really works.

And that doesn't mean you don't feel things strongly, it just means you aren't reactive about the feelings that come up. You experience them from a different place than your ego. You don't take the feelings personally but instead let them flow through you. This helps you avoid getting stuck, but it also helps you keep sadness as a process you need to go through rather than a way of life.

I now know all the steps (the process) people go through after getting a divorce. Everyone may handle the steps differently but everyone I've met has gone through them in their own way.

I have decided that I am going to give back to people what I think they are withholding from me. Chances are they aren't withholding anything at all. It's more likely that I just wasn't ready to receive what they were ready to give.

That's one thing I have found divorce can do to you: It can make you fearful of relationships. There can be that voice in the back of your mind that says 'What if this relationship fails too?'

Well, if you think like that it surely will. But another thing divorce teaches you is that even if a relationship does fail (and sometimes they just do) you can survive it. Why? Because you already did.

That is the beauty of experience. So I am going to take Tolle's advice and whatever I think people are withholding from me, I will give them.

I look forward to experiencing the results.

A demain.

The Writer's Weekly

2008-05-20T09:02:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all.

It's Tuesday and the day for topics relating to writers in the media.

I really never thought that the actors would strike. When I was talking about the writer's strike I jokingly said that an actor's strike would last about two minutes.

What do actors have to strike about anyway? I have to admit I haven't read any real details about it. I did read a brief piece about a specific actress that felt she wouldn't be able to pay her $14,000. monthly alimony cheque to her ex. That times were getting hard for her because a show she'd been working on was cancelled and then, well, what about the possible actor's strike.

$14,000. in alimony!!!!!!!!!

I won't even go there. Needless to say I am not too sympathetic with her plight. It would be horrible to expect her to sell one of her houses to make ends meet...

OK, so I just can't take the actor's strike as seriously. I admit it. Not to say that I don't enjoy TV shows and movies sometimes, but I don't really think you can compare a successful actor's financial realities with writers' financial realities. We are talking about (most of the time) very different planets here.

Anyway, that's how I see it. Have a great one.

Open Forum

2008-05-16T07:01:00.002-04:00

Good morning one and all and welcome to Open Forum.

Friday is the day I set aside to write about whatever I choose.

Sometimes it's about writing and sometimes it really isn't.

I was thinking about Andrew's post (from the Canadian Writers' Collective) about his father. I understand where Andrew is coming from.

Having had a none too successful marriage and being faced with single motherdom, I often feel insecure, unsure and alone in my decisions about my life and of course my son. The decisions and ideas I agonize over are sometimes big and I may appear together to my son (and other people around me), but I endure many sleepless nights and have to write countless pages in my journal to come to decisions that I am comfortable with for myself and, more importantly, for my son.

I try to run my life so that my son doesn't experience my dips and insecurities and I hope he does see me as a supermom. Kids are supposed to be kids and I don't want him taking on any of my worries or concerns. As Andrew rightly pointed out, he'll have to make all these decisions when he's a father so for now he can be innocent.

When you become a parent you really don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's a beautiful ride of great extremes and it has definitely put me more in touch with emotions I didn't quite know I had. I have never felt so helpless or inadequate (the colic phase) , or such joy (his first steps), or such heart-bursting giggle fits (when we share a joke that triggers the giggle monster) or such absolute peace (when he's asleep in my arms) as I have with my son.

I think being a real person involves lots of moments of reflection and not knowing immediately what you want to do or be or become. That certainly doesn't stop when you become a supermom or superdad.

I try to look at my life as a work in progress with a lot of love, respect and patience mixed in. I try to be just as generous with myself as I am with my son realizing that it's all new not only for him, but for me as well.

I would never take any of it back. I am honoured to share my life with such a beautiful child.

When we are broken open and feel our most vulnerable that is when we find ourselves: I have had the pleasure of having this wonderful journey with my son.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

The Journey

2008-05-15T08:29:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all.

My journey is taking me to the vet this morning for my doggie's annual shots and check up so I will return tomorrow with Open Forum.

I wish you all a wonderful day and remember what Robin Skelton said: You cannot heal where you cannot hurt.

A demain.

The Mechanics

2008-05-14T08:45:00.004-04:00

Good morning everyone!

Today is any, every, no and some day.

The words any, every, no and some form solid compounds when combined with body, thing and where:

anybody, anything, anywhere
everybody, everything, everywhere
nobody, nothing, nowhere
somebody, something, somewhere

However, when one is the second element write no as a separate, unhyphenated word in all situations. And write any and every as separate, unhyphenated words if one is followed by a prepositional phrase beginning with of:

No one came.
Any one of us can do it.
Each and every one of you must help.

but

Someone must tell the Minister.
Everyone is in agreement.
Anyone can participate.

Good morning all. It's Thursday and Journey Day!

I always like commenting on my journey as a writer. And inevitably it ends up leading to my journey as a person as well. I am now a professional blogger and I just posted my second blog about pizza. I really love pizza (had some last night for dinner actually). I think writing about pizza inspired me to eat some. Though it doesn't take much to encourage me to eat pizza--that's a 'twist my rubber arm' scenario.

There's not much else that I wouldn't want to live without (I'm talking about food and drink here). Green tea perhaps, muffins, a good filet mignon now and then, scallops, champagne, stuffing...OK maybe there's more than I realized once I started thinking about it.

Despite all that I'm not a big food person. It was only when I was pregnant with my son that food tasted amazing, I mean I cannot describe how wonderful food was when I was pregnant. (If food tasted like that for me all the time I would weigh 300lbs for sure. Food was magnetic.) Now, food tastes good, but regular as it has done all my life except about 6 blissful months.

But pizza has always been, and still is, my absolute favourite food. Served hot right out of the pizza oven, luke warm when you go for the second piece and cold out of the fridge first thing in the morning--it's all just sooo good! No matter how you slice it (sorry I couldn't help the silly pun) pizza is food created by the Goddesses.

Thank you Goddesses, thank you for filling my life and belly with your scrumptious creation (as I wander down to the fridge for a piece of Hawaiian)!

The Mechanics

2008-04-09T08:14:00.002-04:00

Good morning to you all. Today is mechanics day and it's spell-check day.

Spell-checking programs help you eliminate misspelled words at the proofreading stage and they can be great for finding specific words in your document. You can use the 'search' feature and find specific words in your document and 'replace' them with another word. I used this a lot when I worked in-house. The first time I found a word that didn't conform to our style guide I would simply 'find' and 'replace' it with the correctly spelled word. Then I knew that word had been corrected throughout the document.

Spell-checking programs do have drawbacks however and it is really important to be aware of them:

Spell-checking programs cannot detect the omission of words.
They do not flag correctly spelled words that are incorrect in a specific context, for example Ewe bake too manly arrows, as opposed to You make too many errors.
Unless the spell-checker is part of a larger grammar-checking program they do not identify words that are grammatically wrong. For example, the sentence He do not understands, would not be flagged.
There is one caveat to the search-and-replace function that is important to know. If you change a word such as honor to honour in the search-and-replace function you will automatically create misspellings of other related words, such as honorific, honorary and so on. This will require you to go into the document manually and change each instance of the newly misspelled words.

It's important to remember that though spell-checkers are great tools they do not negate the need for experienced editors and proofreaders.

I have had people ask me, when I was commenting on the poorly edited Montreal Gazette, well don't spell-check programs fix that? In this case the question was about a verb and its subject not being in agreement, as was the case in the Gazette. I said: No, spell-checkers do not check for grammar errors. The look on the person's face was of the blank-stare variety. It was obviously news to them.

Fair enough, not everyone is a writer or has to use word processing programs for their work.

But it also helped me understand why so many materials are published without being properly edited. Some people do believe that a spell-checker is all they need.

I am here to say, though spell-checkers are great tools, they do not guarantee a grammatically correct document. In fact, you can end up with Ewes baking too manly arrows, so watch out!

The Writer's Weekly

2008-04-08T08:50:00.002-04:00

Good morning to all.

I read an article in The Montreal Gazette by Donna Nebenzahl that I found particularly disturbing because of its scope and complexity. The article titled Bus stop often the start to a life of misery outlines the fate of a lot of young, vulnerable women here in Quebec. Quebec Youth Protection estimates that several thousand young girls are sexually exploited here, in Quebec. Several thousand!

Apparently the increase in gang activity has increased the number of young women being sold as commodities. Some pimps settle debts by giving their girlfriends to rival gang members for sex as payment. Imagine! There is something so horrifying to me about people's daughters being used and abused repeatedly, and right under our noses.

You might ask why they don't run away from their captors. Well, they have nowhere to go. They either come out of abusive family situation here in Canada or they are from other countries that fear the police and other official authority figures. Often their families are forcing them into this 'better way of life.' So the gangs and pimps don't even need to lock them up. The women would never leave and disgrace their families. And the gangs threaten their families in their home countries so the young women are literally giving up their lives to save their families.

This is a vicious circle.

How can this circle be broken? I'm really not sure. I don't have enough knowledge of the big picture to even hazard a guess. Obviously, conjugal violence, poverty, hopelessness and organized crime are all very big problems that would need to be tackled from many different angles before progress would be made. My opinion, however, is that most of these problems begin at home. I have never understood why we are educated-to-death in our society about everything except the reality of being parents and raising and disciplining children.

When people have children they introduce all their own dysfunctional behaviours and patterns from their childhoods right back into their children's lives. There are very few parents that see the dysfunction of how they grew up and actively do not perpetuate that cycle.

The proof is in the way our society is behaving. I have a friend that is a child psychologist and she told me that there are very few children that are well mentally. After seeing articles in the newspaper about teenagers in crisis and this article today I am beginning to understand what she must see all day every day in her office. She was visibly scared for future generations.

We hear about the atrocities being perpetuated in other countries and I can't help but think we are perpetuating many here as well. People don't seem to care about the women that they ogle at strip clubs or seek sex from at escort services. Very few of those women do what they do voluntarily. Our world has become obsessed with instant gratification--no matter what the cost.

The cost here is human dignity and freedom.

It's too great a cost and horrifying in its implications.

The Voice

2008-04-07T08:15:00.003-04:00

Good morning to you all.

It's Monday.

I usually discuss the writer's voice on Mondays, but I have a rendez vous this a.m. and I am going to do research for my next Montreal City Guide blog, so I will be brief.

Writing the short story that I ended up presenting to my short story class interestingly taught me about where I was when I wrote it. It was mid-December when I wrote it and I was not where I am now as far as honesty is concerned. What do I mean exactly? Well, I think I was still seeing people for the roles that they play, such as mother, dentist, boyfriend, husband, child...and so on. Rather than seeing people for what they really are. It's true that some people get so caught in their roles that that's about all you can see, but for most people there is more--that is if you have the insight and courage to look.

In December I don't think I was ready to look yet. People are not the sum total of their titles, accomplishments or behaviours. Nor are they really a label of any kind, thankfully. It is easier to 'label' people, it makes them tidy--at least in your mind. But no one is tidy or describable by a collection of words. An odd thing for a writer to say I realize, but I do believe that there is an essence to everyone that goes beyond thought.

I didn't take the time to get to know the characters in my short story. And for me that was the key to how I'd been living. Not with everyone, thankfully, but with enough people that I was pushing people I cared about away. About two weeks ago I suddenly realized what I'd been doing. After resolving a relationship I'd had I realized that it was time for me to stop self-protecting.

Life in not about being perpetually happy. Life does involve suffering--I am sure we all know that. Trying to avoid pain only puts more attention on the situations that cause you pain and thus a vicious circle begins.

I am not sure what I was trying to protect myself from. Maybe I just wasn't ready to know myself really, really well.

I no longer feel that way.

It was a breakthrough both personally and professionally. Rather than living with my eyes wide shut, I can just be. It really doesn't have to be more complicated than that!